It's alive.

I'm not really 100% sure how much longer I can go on living like this without killing someone. Maybe I'm turning into an old man, maybe I'm not, maybe YOU are turning into an old man (I mean, seriously, when was the last time that you checked?) but the girls across the street need to die. I don’t mean die in their sleep either, I’m talking Raiders of the Ark Nazi style….or maybe that propeller part. Either way, that movie was awesome. But I don’t really have the free car, apartment, or money from my parents to dick around all the time like they do, so I guess I just can't understand their world.


“That’ll teach you guys to be loud all night on a fucking Tuesday.”

Feeling the spray of their warm blood on my face as it flew off the blades of a twin-engine late 1930s German model aircraft would make my fucking day. Here is a list of some other people that need to die (via burning, bursting, or disembowelment):
-Some girl (in a history class) who thought Hitler and the Holocaust was during World War I.
-Some guy who told me “I AM better than you since I went into the Army Reserve.”
-The kid that works in the basement computer lab at Halle… he knows why.
-Mo… just kidding. I totally know that he’s the man now.
-Whoever makes the cheap toilet-paper I use because, Dude… come on.
-The Lord of The Rings movies. I can’t go anywhere on the internet without seeing something about it.
-Anyone who keeps talking about how great America is and never questions anything.
-Randy Wood
-Comcast
-Like fifty other people I don’t have time to list.

Granted, I don’t really have time to kill everyone that needs it and I’m pretty sure that there are some laws against it. It looks like I’m going to have to deal with selfish, annoying, fake, dumb, and ugly people forever. That wouldn’t be so bad if that were my only problems. But I am losing it due to a complete lack of free time. I spend six days a week at work, school, or both. Toss on ass-loads of homework and it suddenly feels like I haven’t had a single day of enjoyment in two months. It makes me hurt both emotionally, physically, and confuses me all at the same time… like getting kicked in the nuts by my Grandma.


“Why, Nana? Why?”

Dude this sucks… what I would give for two days where I could say “Fuck you work! Fuck you school! Fuck you Dad!” and just go on sweet adventures without freaking out about money or time. Shit, I'd troll-dolls if I got to enjoy Katie for more than an couple of hours every other day and almost not at all on weekends... or if any of my teachers or someone from class would e-mail me back when I ask to know what I missed.

It seriously does make me want to just quit, grab my shit, and move to Egypt or something. But Egypt would suck; it’s hot all the freaking time and nobody would speak the languages that I was good at speaking. They do have mummies (which rule) though. Does anyone else remember that show, Mummies Alive? That was the best/worst/best show ever. Imagine mummies that came back to life with magic powers AND transforming abilities who kicked ass for like half an hour. I think one of the Mummies was named Rapeses too… pronounced “RaPe-SEEs.” But he never raped anyone as far as I’m aware. Ask Brian though, he loved that show.



My cat is also retarded; I don’t really know what to do. Cats always want to check out whatever you have, even when it’s not for them. They also know the times that you don’t want them in your face and that’s the ONLY time they are there. ‘Reading today are we Matt? Well, I’ll have to place my furry ass in your face.’ Since she’s still a kitten, she attacks anything that is soft or organic (strings, hair, dirty tissues, faces, etc) and she nurses a blanket the rest of the time. She bites me WAY to hard sometimes and I get pissed and start playing rough… which only makes her bite harder. She does what she is supposed to when sprayed, but it’s impossible to her to not kick you ass… except if you hold up her tail and flick her directly in the cat-taint… that chills her out pretty quick, after she stops running around yelping, that is.

***and I was just kidding about my dad. I like him now.... just in case he reads this.